[ENG] Dear Mr. Markus,

Dear Mr. Markus,

I would like to submit my application for the opportunity advertised by your company, as I believe myself to be an ideal candidate for the position.

My experience in the domain stems from a lifelong familiarity with the subject, as well as a deep connection with the various aspects involved with the position. As you will immediately notice by looking at my resume, I have a unique understanding of what this job requires. After years of consulting, I have built a rapport with many of the key players in the field, and assure you that I will make use of these previous relations in order to further this project to the best of my abilities.

Furthermore, it is with a deep sense of pride that I confirm that my parents were the founders of this project. Though I do not take any credit for their countless achievements, my proximity to them has allowed me to observe their working process, and even take note of some improvements that could be made in order to evolve in the market. They have taught me so much, simply through observation, and I plan to honour their lifelong efforts by devoting my skills and abilities to the advancement of their dream.

As you may be aware, I am quite possibly the only realistic candidate for the position. That is not to say that I expect any preferential treatment. However, my unique situation makes me acutely aware of how important it would be for me to succeed if given the chance to work for you. I understand better than most how my own life may be deeply affected by my achievements and failures at this firm, and welcome an opportunity to demonstrate how intent I am on succeeding.

Finally, I wish to thank you for your time and consideration, and hope to meet you in person for an interview, in order to further discuss my qualifications for the job.

Sincerely, James

Dear Mr. James,

First of all, I wish to applaud you on your audacity, for despite a complete change in the executive team’s membership, we are all well aware of your numerous failed attempts at holding the position being discussed. That being said, we are also doubtful that a lack of audacity has ever been the reason behind your failures.

In an effort to be frank with you, I will summarize our discussion regarding your application. Despite your significant holdings in our company, we believe that it is in the best interest of the staff and the shareholders that we disregard this influence altogether. Therefore, looking at your performance in the past few years, your inactivity, your complete lack of motivation, and your intimate association with rather questionable parties paint the picture of a man not deserving of our trust. We thoroughly appreciate the fact that you are the only man for the job, but we would prefer to continue with the course that the company is currently taking, rather than to jeopardize our operations in order to allow for another attempt at breaking this company apart.

Obviously, you are free to make use of your rapidly fading influence in order to overturn our decision, and take the helm once again. However, we have been hired to make informed, reasoned decisions, and this is exactly what we plan on doing. You have made frivolous attempts at risky mergers, all of which have been fruitless wastes of resources. The company you are applying to today is akin to a rusting machine, and holds on only by a single thread of incoming business. In only a few years, the gears will come to a screeching halt, and that will signal the end for both you and, by extension, this company.

We so dearly want to believe in your sincerity when it comes to your heroic attempts to bring this firm back to life, but we see more value in prudence. It is a daunting prospect for an entity with so much potential, but it is preferable to the unfathomable destruction that your blind steering of the helm surely promises.

To conclude, we think it wise for you to forgo your rights to this position and simply return to peaceful inactivity. As the spokesperson for the executive team, I urge you to let us slowly guide this company to its assured demise, rather than gambling everything your parents have worked towards in the hopes of achieving an abstract dream that you should have outgrown long ago.

Nevertheless, we would like to thank you for an honest and respectable effort at taking control of your own life. We hope that this rejection allows you to move on, and accept the inevitable end that is now quite literally in sight.


James Markus


- Shahab Razavi

Illustration: Michelle Nicole

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