[ENG] From your unconscious, with love

« I decided to be vulnerable again, I decided to show you my forbidden colours and unleashed pain.

I decided that they wouldn’t hurt me. 

I decided about my presence in the center of all things wild. 

I decided that I wouldn’t feel anymore, love anymore. 

I decided that I wasn’t meant to be an open book, someone who speaks truth and honestly. 

I’m my own creation.

I burn myself and relive from my dust.

I’m a wild bird.

I destroy to create.

It’s a never ending circle.

I’m merely an image of the ridiculous amount of images people make of me.

I’m a fake.

I’m a phony with the mean reds.

I’m Holly Golightly with a bottle of Ativan.

I’m an idea, a concept.

A woman maybe.

But never anyone’s woman.

I’m a scream, a loud and aggressive scream.

I’m the letters that I’ve burned.

Burning them only to create my own.

Letters covered with the perfume of my anger.

Shouting images of what I tried to be, who I tried to be.

They don’t know me.

I don’t even know myself.

Im The Scream, and just like him I suffer in silence.

If only my lips didn’t work against me.

I lie and cheat and don’t believe in romance.

Just like The Mighty Falcon, I’m what dreams are made of.

Expect I’m my own nightmare.

And I can’t wake up. »


- Soukayna

Illustration: Samantha Scadafi 

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